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Expressions to call someone useless

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Mr Anon
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Expressions to call someone useless

Post Mr Anon »

As in, you're a much use as..., or any other format

To get the ball rolling, Tits on a nun
Last edited by Mr Anon on 09 Oct 2024, 11:09, edited 2 times in total.
eusebiovic
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post eusebiovic »

When I'm really pissed with someone I have been known to call them...

A talentless fucking handjob
Russ of the BML
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Russ of the BML »

Useless cսnt is my normal go to. 
Gary Strodders shank
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Gary Strodders shank »

An old school friends furious market trader dad after discovering my mate had punted out several bags of fruit and veg at a heavily discounted price due to his poor maths and confusing the pounds for ounces at the scales.

"Boy if you fell in a barrel load of tits you would come out sucking your thumb"

 
eusebiovic
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post eusebiovic »

A legend in his own lunchbreak
eswing hammer
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post eswing hammer »

“Spursey”
Gary Strodders shank
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Gary Strodders shank »

If brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his hat off
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Mike Oxsaw
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Mike Oxsaw »

As touchy as Jimmy Savile: which seems to apply perfectly to a couple of posters on this very thread.
only1billybonds
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post only1billybonds »

About as useful as a chocolate fireguard 
Frankie Pankie
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Frankie Pankie »

 bacon sandwich at a bar mitzvah
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MaryMillingtonsGhost
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post MaryMillingtonsGhost »

A wet fart in a spacesuit.
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BillyJenningsBoots
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post BillyJenningsBoots »

A man made of smoke.... was what my mum used to say.
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Hammer and Pickle
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Hammer and Pickle »

As much use as a , as a name.
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Bungo
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Bungo »


As thick as a whale omelette.

With thanks to Blackadder I think?
,
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post , »

As much use as a H&P opinion
Gary Strodders shank
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Gary Strodders shank »

My old man had a few but one that sticks in the mind was

"he is as dim as a Toc H lamp"

Normally when referring to me
yngwies Cat
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post yngwies Cat »

Joey Deacon at an orgy.
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Mike Oxsaw
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Mike Oxsaw »

The missing leg on an underage Cambodian Doris.
violator
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post violator »

ashtray on a motorbike
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Far Cough UKunt
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Far Cough UKunt »

Michael J Fox's measuring spoons.
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Hammer and Pickle
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Hammer and Pickle »

Nigel Farage as an MP
Helmut Shown
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Helmut Shown »

As much use as men’s tits or a one legged man at an arse kicking party. 

i think these originated in the Boys from the Blackstuff
Ron Eff
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Ron Eff »

MPI - a derivative of Nigel Quashie? 🤔
claypole
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post claypole »

He had about as much charm as a dead Dolphin 
Moncurs Putting Iron
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Moncurs Putting Iron »

Kwasi - To be used when someone comes in and causes a great deal of chaos and poor performance in an extraordinarily short space of time. J-Lo recent win has forestalled accusations that he is "a complete Kwasi"

See also Well you really Kwasied that up whilst standing pointing at a complete clusterfuck.
Swiss.
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Re: Expressions to call someone useless

Post Swiss. »

A tool , a marzipoan dildo, a Millie (sorry Cheval et The Grande Fromage) 
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