Former First Minister Alex Salmond dies

[Mr Anon]

Blimey didn't know he was ill

[Mike Oxsaw]

Alex Salmond died while opening a bottle of ketchup, an eyewitness has claimed.

I'm hoping that will MUSTARD up some enthusiasm on here for some puns.

So. A proper bottle job then.

Oh, and I fucking HATE people who start their posts with "So". Only a cսnt does that.

Just sayin', like.

[Far Cough UKunt]

Alex Salmond died while opening a bottle of ketchup, an eyewitness has claimed.

I'm hoping that will MUSTARD up some enthusiasm on here for some puns.

H&P will be on it real soon.

 

[Lee Trundle]

Alex Salmond died while opening a bottle of ketchup, an eyewitness has claimed.

I'm hoping that will MUSTARD up some enthusiasm on here for some puns.

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

Traitors never live long.
 

[BBondsBootlaces]

Missed an opportunity to title this thread 'Alex Salmond has swum upstream'.

[Lee Trundle]

Scottish Smoked Salmond

[Russ of the BML]

A bit fishy.

Deep fried fish. 

[Mike Oxsaw]

Deep-fried Mars Bars to be held at half mast for 7 days (or until the fat ginger bastards can't resist taking a bite).

[BRANDED]

I was surprised the lard arse didnt die of covid.

[Perry Nium]

A bit fishy.

[One Sunny Day]

Personally I found him an annoying twat who seemed more interested in promoting himself and trying to troll the English than actually doing anything for Scotland. Actually found Nicola Sturgeon a huge improvement for the SNP. 

[riosleftsock]

Looks like a probable heart attack, collapsed and died suddenly at a conference in Northern Macedonia after making his speech.

I don't like the Scotch Nazi Party, but must admit I had a bit of time for Alex.  He was a fierce and intelligent debater with a great sense of humour and mischief.

[Alfs]

I blame VAR for ruling out the equaliser against Croatia.

[Fauxstralian]

Sven Roeder? He died long ago

Salmond dead at 69
Think he was the oldest living Scotsman 
 

[On The Ball]

I can't believe he didn't let you know

[happygilmore]

Blimey didn't know he was ill

 

 

He was very fat. Probably a heart attack.  Commiserations to Sven Roeder.

[cup of tea]

A frothy pint of bothered fro me please