Anxiety/depression

[Tomshardware]

"Been through bad time lately with suffering with this. Dark thoughts as well. I know some posters on here suffer with this. Anyone come through the other side of this shit?

"A number of posters have been yellow carded and told to stay off this thread unless they have anything constructive to add.This is a thread that has been very useful to so many, for any other posters with scores to settle, argue on another thread. This thread is sacrosant.Thank you"

[Westham67]

I have been struggling since Sunday, it's not West Ham related

[Westham67]

I have not posted on this thread for a long time. I am going to share stuff that only happened over the last year. I will not name the antidepressants involved because they may alarm people if they take them themseleves. Medication is a very personal thing it's horses for courses. I was prescribed an antidepressant by a psychiatrist in either late 2019 or early 2020, before lockdown, somewhere around that time. I did not get on with it. I did not take it for long. In June 2021, a GP changed my antidepressant. About six weeks later, I had my first fit note for panic disorder,

In October 2021, I did four hours of cognitive testing in total. My memory score was low enough to be brain damage or "Significant inattention" I had a follow-up head scan in December 2021, and there was no brain damage. With my warehouse CV, I lost seven jobs in a calendar year. I kept having panic attacks as I couldn't cope or keep up with the training. I recall Pentoville calling me as I posted on this thread that I was trying to get funeral insurance and found out they dont cover suicide for 18 months, that was June 2022. I called the Samaritans, and I asked if I should stop working or not. In December  2022, I got LCWRA. I won PIP at the court of appeals in October 2023 and have not worked since

I took myself off the antidepressant in question. I saw a professor of neuropsychiatry on January 18 2025. He said I am glad you took yourself off those antidepressants. You should not have been prescribed it in the first place.

I have ADHD on steroids. It's like being lucid, but having dementia at the same time. I was having panic attacks because when I was training in different warehouses, I could not take anything in; I kept fucking everything up. I put a label on the wrong pallet, and it went to the wrong location, costing the company £5000. It's the same in my private life; it's demoralising, I am like a dog chasing its tail. I put my phone in an open drawer, couldn't find it, and started to freak out. I sent an email from my laptop so I could hear the notification on my phone. Not a day goes by without my anxiety going through the roof when I lose something. 

I have a clincal negligence case against the NHS coming to fruition in five or six months. All medical records are in. The next stage involves an expert writing a letter, and then my claim is included. It takes the NHS up to four months to settle. NHS generally do not go to court, and they certainly wont with mine  because it's clear what happened and the GP changed my prescription, then a plethora of fit notes followed 

I had clinical negligence solicitors falling over themselve to take my case. My one is rated 4.7 out of 5

I got 25% no win no fee plus 12% insurance for a 3rd party expert, barrister and in case the NHS dont pay my solicitors' fee

I have experienced private heath insurance. While I was having my stents fitted when I was working in Vietnam, I was awakened by the surgeon and told the second stent would cost $4000, and they asked me who I worked for, and I said Hitachi, and they did it. I have nothing but admiration for NHS workers, despite what happened to me

[side effect]

Unbelievable that im underweight and the clueless gps cannot find anything to help with my poor appetite yet Mirtazapine seems to solve that problem.

There's no chance I would go on that however im so annoyed at the drs i just refuse to liase with them now and even sent back the bowel screening test.

[Django]

Rarely post but just thought I would share that as a fellow anxiety and depression sufferer I have had my medication changed for the first time in 3 years due to worsening symptoms the last few months.

Decided to take early retirement at 51 due to poor health and do just 2 days consultancy at home. I think the lack of office human interaction possibly made symptoms worse alongside my Mothers ill health (she is 79)

I am now on the top dose of Citalopram 40mg, Propanalol 80mg and Mirtazapine 15mg which have beem great for sleeping. The one bad side affect of Mirtazapine is the constant hunger even after eating. Waking up at 2-3am wanting a sandwich or crisps isn't great and a slippery slope to becoming a fat cսnt.

Always find this time of year shit anyway. 

Good luck and best wishes to those going through similar


 

that's a lot mate, only you know if it's worth it but get another consultation at least. At least you're sleeping well though, I barely get 2 hours a night, I'm not medicated but considering it. I just know how shit it is coming off anything, did a course of setrolin 15 years ago and the worst i felt was weening off them

That sleep deprivation sounds brutal. I’ve used promethazine before for insomnia. It’s not habit forming and helps me stay asleep longer. Can leave you a bit groggy mind. Hope it improves 

[Django]

Rarely post but just thought I would share that as a fellow anxiety and depression sufferer I have had my medication changed for the first time in 3 years due to worsening symptoms the last few months.

Decided to take early retirement at 51 due to poor health and do just 2 days consultancy at home. I think the lack of office human interaction possibly made symptoms worse alongside my Mothers ill health (she is 79)

I am now on the top dose of Citalopram 40mg, Propanalol 80mg and Mirtazapine 15mg which have beem great for sleeping. The one bad side affect of Mirtazapine is the constant hunger even after eating. Waking up at 2-3am wanting a sandwich or crisps isn't great and a slippery slope to becoming a fat cսnt.

Always find this time of year shit anyway. 

Good luck and best wishes to those going through similar

 

I’ve been on mirtazapine so know how that insane hunger feels. I could never feel full.  I just had to switch to vertically all protein which helped me keep the weight off.
I know how you feel regarding lack meaningful interaction too. It takes its toll. I’ve had a chronic illness for 4 years now. The hardest thing is the isolation and mental issues it’s caused.
Thoughts with you mate and to all the others struggling at this time of year.

[Hammer I am]

Rarely post but just thought I would share that as a fellow anxiety and depression sufferer I have had my medication changed for the first time in 3 years due to worsening symptoms the last few months.

Decided to take early retirement at 51 due to poor health and do just 2 days consultancy at home. I think the lack of office human interaction possibly made symptoms worse alongside my Mothers ill health (she is 79)

I am now on the top dose of Citalopram 40mg, Propanalol 80mg and Mirtazapine 15mg which have beem great for sleeping. The one bad side affect of Mirtazapine is the constant hunger even after eating. Waking up at 2-3am wanting a sandwich or crisps isn't great and a slippery slope to becoming a fat cսnt.

Always find this time of year shit anyway. 

Good luck and best wishes to those going through similar

 

that's a lot mate, only you know if it's worth it but get another consultation at least. At least you're sleeping well though, I barely get 2 hours a night, I'm not medicated but considering it. I just know how shit it is coming off anything, did a course of setrolin 15 years ago and the worst i felt was weening off them

[Mike Oxsaw]

Just in case some of you haven't seen this (article in the Independent), I put it here with my best wishes and hope for all your futures:

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/heal ... 82011.html

[Westham67]

Rarely post but just thought I would share that as a fellow anxiety and depression sufferer I have had my medication changed for the first time in 3 years due to worsening symptoms the last few months.

Decided to take early retirement at 51 due to poor health and do just 2 days consultancy at home. I think the lack of office human interaction possibly made symptoms worse alongside my Mothers ill health (she is 79)

I am now on the top dose of Citalopram 40mg, Propanalol 80mg and Mirtazapine 15mg which have beem great for sleeping. The one bad side affect of Mirtazapine is the constant hunger even after eating. Waking up at 2-3am wanting a sandwich or crisps isn't great and a slippery slope to becoming a fat cսnt.

Always find this time of year shit anyway. 

Good luck and best wishes to those going through similar

 

That's a lot of medication you have been prescibed have you been offered CBT?

[cup of tea]

Rarely post but just thought I would share that as a fellow anxiety and depression sufferer I have had my medication changed for the first time in 3 years due to worsening symptoms the last few months.

Decided to take early retirement at 51 due to poor health and do just 2 days consultancy at home. I think the lack of office human interaction possibly made symptoms worse alongside my Mothers ill health (she is 79)

I am now on the top dose of Citalopram 40mg, Propanalol 80mg and Mirtazapine 15mg which have beem great for sleeping. The one bad side affect of Mirtazapine is the constant hunger even after eating. Waking up at 2-3am wanting a sandwich or crisps isn't great and a slippery slope to becoming a fat cսnt.

Always find this time of year shit anyway. 

Good luck and best wishes to those going through similar
 

[Mike Oxsaw]

The seemingly  endless flaguation of self  is .... extravagant.



 

2 regular posters from this forum killed themselves 

Yes, two regular posters from one of the most aggressive, toxic, abusive and poorly moderated football forums on the internet killed themselves. What does that tell you?

Well, YOU tell me that you have no respect for the sanctity of this thread.

Don't bother replying, this is not a thread for sparing, arguing or self aggrandisement. Start another thread if you wish to debate the meta-level aspects regarding what this thread offers.

[Come On You Irons]

The seemingly  endless flaguation of self  is .... extravagant.


 

2 regular posters from this forum killed themselves 

Yes, two regular posters from one of the most aggressive, toxic, abusive and poorly moderated football forums on the internet killed themselves. What does that tell you?

[Westham67]

The seemingly  endless flaguation of self  is .... extravagant.

 

2 regular posters from this forum killed themselves 

[Monsieur merde de cheval]

The seemingly  endless flaguation of self  is .... extravagant.
 

[Westham67]

Good to see you back, side effect. 

[side effect]

Well im just taking Amitriptyline when I feel like it and prefibin.  Have not taken pregabalin for over 2 years now and Codiene 30/500 and butrans patch just over a year.
Quite fit at 62 and could be off all by 63.
Just had a trip to Aberdeen migrating over to Inverness taking the seated sleeper both ways as my son wants to buy up there.
I managed to get 7 sleeping pills and 7 diazepam to relax me over the week and had an enjoyable time going to different areas by train each day. Highlight was watching 3 typhoons take off at Leuchars.

Been off a while due to being logged out and so many times trying to log back in until I tried again today. 

Hope your all doing well.

[Tomshardware]

Agree with some of that but not all of it.  Depression is about brain chemistry and sometimes it can consume a person, there is no snapping out of it.   If it was that easy then you wouldn't have so many suicides. 

[Big head]

After doing a lot of resetting the way I think, I've come to the conclusion you HAVE choice as to whether you feel depressed or not. 

Every single evening, for 10 minutes I over and over say in my head "I choose to be happy" and it has had a profound effect on my mental wellbeing.

I choose to not let things get to me, worry about what you can control and just be happy.

When you get depressed, you end up playing a victim, I certainly did. Blamed everyone and everything. It gets addictive too as you seek sympathy from others. in reality you can choose to feel how you feel.

[Tomshardware]

Life only seems to make sense when I'm near woodland and birdsong.

Probably a far too simplistic answer, but is it possible for you to take on a role that offers such an environment?

Gardener would be an obvious choice, but not sure how well that pays. I'd throw in groundsman or park-keeper but I'm not sure councils employ such people any more.

If you need a more stable, paying role, how about work in a garden centre.

I do (I think) understand where you're coming from - when I'm in Thailand, the birdsong around the village is really quite relaxing, the all-night frogs & crickets less so (but I wish they'd glue the beaks of the free-range cockerels closed at sunset and get the local elephant to shut the fuck up...sometimes) .

Thanks Oxsaw, I do actually work as a gardener.  Your backdrop of sounds in Thailand is interesting.  

[Mike Oxsaw]

Life only seems to make sense when I'm near woodland and birdsong.

Probably a far too simplistic answer, but is it possible for you to take on a role that offers such an environment?

Gardener would be an obvious choice, but not sure how well that pays. I'd throw in groundsman or park-keeper but I'm not sure councils employ such people any more.

If you need a more stable, paying role, how about work in a garden centre.

I do (I think) understand where you're coming from - when I'm in Thailand, the birdsong around the village is really quite relaxing, the all-night frogs & crickets less so (but I wish they'd glue the beaks of the free-range cockerels closed at sunset and get the local elephant to shut the fuck up...sometimes) .

[Tomshardware]

Life only seems to make sense when I'm near woodland and birdsong.

[Pentonville]

May I request that anyone who knows Gonzo on hammers chat message him and tell him that he is a top bloke. ASAP

[Peckham]

I made this when off my nut on magic mushrooms 

[Peckham]

Dear Major Hudson and all,

I wrote to HQ and asked for your address.

I wanted to send you flowers to say thanks for helping me with money.

I used to spend all my money on hedonism - things like sex, hotels, drugs and Carlton Cole ( West Ham ), also fast cars.

When MUM was alive I bought her flowers every single day of my life wherever I was in the world. This is no lie, I learned Latin via flowers and a good school.

I used to be blessed. Now I am in so much pain I wish to die.

Anyway, thank you for the loan for court and trying to stop my imminent eviction.

Yours sincerely,

Dave Knight 25029645

Clean from drugs for six weeks now. Apart from the night I got sexually abused. They gave me ketamine instead of cocaine. That is why they did what they did. I only jest in my silly films about drugs. My dream if not death is to help drug addicts and the mentally challenged..

CC WEST HAM ONLINE BEST FORUM FOR CUNTS EVER.
CC Right Hon Ben Coleman LABOUR PARTY who I voted for.
CC RBL
CC lt col Melia OBE AARP suicide prevention and best friend
CC Mr Broderick - council HanF adult care
CC Ange - MINT NHS WEST LONDON
CC Sue at Mail my favourite journalist

[Pentonville]

Incarnation? That sounds dodgy lol.  I was hairyspotter for a.month but i made such an Impact lol. Apart from being retarded and cool as fuxk I have charisma
 

[panamahat]

Well I’m delighted to report Penters is very much alive & in fine fettle & appreciates all the love & support he has received on here into his present incarnation from as far back as the Spotter years .
long may it last
Keep the faith Peckham .