THE joke threads (part 5)

[Mad Dog]

Usual rules apply

[Swiss.]

Aalborg Always a good joke.

[Aalborg Hammer]

"There's a Welsh sheep farmer taking his driving test. The examiner says ""Can you make a U-Turn?"" ""I'll make her eyes water ,if I go in dry"""

[the coming of gary]

"not strictly a joke , but i saw the @KFC official twitter account only follows 11 people... subtle humour ."

[Willtell]

You're welcome E12. COYI tonight...

[E12Hammer]

My first WHO parody. Thank you. Made my day that.

[Willtell]

"E12Hammer went to the hardware store and said ""I'd like to buy some nails"". The storekeeper asked ""How long do you want them?"". E12Hammer said, ""Well, I'd like to keep them really."""

[Willtell]

Why two or was that a joke too?

[E12Hammer]

"Fucking hell Willtell, who made you the laughter police. I got it, I chuckled. Job done."

[Chip Shop Charlie]

mtchammer 4:01 Wed Nov 29 I liked it two

[Willtell]

"Easily pleased obviously but never mind, just try a little harder next time mtc...."

[mtchammer]

What can I say? It made me laugh...

[madeeasy]

Willtell 4:24 Wed Nov 29 As with all comedy its all in the delivery...this one didn't

[Willtell]

"Check one two, check one two, check one two maybe but... It's not - I also have a Czech one two, I also have a Czech one two, I also have a Czech one two"

[madeeasy]

"sniper, i have and get it. i just don't get how that's funny or even a try at being funny. very strange"

[The_Phantom]

mtchammer 4:01 Wed Nov 29 made me chuckle too

[Sniper]

"I'm with Trevor - that's far from the worst one on here If you don't get it, you clearly haven't ever seen a band or anyone using a mic setting up"

[Willtell]

Go on then Trevor explain what's so funny please?

[Trevor B]

mtchammer 4:01 Wed Nov 29 Very good mate ;-)

[Willtell]

madeeasy 1:52 I'm glad you asked as I'm still trying to work out why that mtchammer post is on the joke thread!!!!

[Queens Fish Bar]

"This poor bloke went to hospital for a circumcision but, because of some error during the operation, he ended up having a complete sex change. All the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news. Naturally, the poor bloke went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him. ""Bloody hell!"" he moaned, ""This means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"" ""Of course you will,"" one of the doctors soothed, ""It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."""

[madeeasy]

mtchammer what the fuck is that meant to be?

[mtchammer]

"I have a Polish friend who is a roadie for a band. I have a Czech one too, I have a Czech one too, I have a Czech one too."

[Bungo]

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

[ted fenton]

"Just got this text:- Mate, you're not going to believe this, I've just won a competition on Radio 1 for a holiday to Greece! Got £2000 spending money and I can take 5 mates. I know it's short notice but if you're free from 1st to 15th December, can you put my bin out? :-((("

[Queens Fish Bar]

CAPITAL LETTERS The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.