les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
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Same as before
The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
arsene york-hunt
1:18 Tue Jul 9
Re: New Limerick Thread
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She noticed a red raw rash
As she sat on the bog for a slash,
At the local hunt,
A blood hound licked her cunt
She'll go private, she's got load of cash
Last week a man went to the home,
Of a high class call girl in Rome.
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Helmut Shown
8:13 Mon Jul 8
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Sir Keir's stopped the Rwanda scheme.
Sharia law soon it would seem.
Money pissed up the wall
And for what? Fuck all
A success for the Tory regime?
She noticed a red raw rash
As she sat on the bog for a slash
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arsene york-hunt
12:02 Sun Jul 7
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Southgate survives yet again
Watching this shit causes pain,
You are right if you thunk
This performance stunk,
I'm off for a line of cocaine.*
Sir Keir's stopped the Rwanda scheme.
Sharia law soon it would seem.
* not really
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Helmut Shown
11:03 Sat Jul 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Like old dears going to the Bingo
The MPs to see Starmer did go
But their hat they'd doff
To see the Tories fuck off
Before drinking glasses of Stingo
So Southgate survives yet again
Watching this shit causes pain
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arsene york-hunt
4:26 Sat Jul 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So the nation elected Kier Starmer.
I think I'd prefer a snake charmer,
That Rayner Mun-ter
I woulld sleep with her
Provided she was wearing armour.
lLike old dears going to the Bingo
The MPs to see Starmer did go
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Mike Oxsaw
1:25 Sat Jul 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Our maths teacher Mr. Metcalf,
Blew off and made everyone laugh
Then, under the table,
He laid a big cable.
Seems these days you can't get the staff.
So the nation elected Kier Starmer.
I think I'd prefer a snake charmer.
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arsene york-hunt
12:14 Fri Jul 5
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A poor bloke got flukes in the liver
Through swimming in a polluted river,
On his hospital bed,
He came back from the dead
Fondling the tits of a caregiver.
Our maths teacher Mr. Metcalf,
Blew off and made everyone laugh
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Helmut Shown
10:11 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The cowboy sung "Home on the range",
But his actions were really quite strange
at the end of this saga
On the hotplate of the Aga
Caused him a rapid key change
A poor bloke got flukes in the liver
Through swimming in a polluted river
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Mike Oxsaw
6:48 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A lonely young man from Dover,
Loved his pet mongrel called Rover.
But the love turned to hate,
'cos the dog found a mate
As such, canine love was all over.
The cowboy sung "Home on the range",
But his actions were really quite strange
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arsene york-hunt
2:36 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young man from the Gower
Was wanking one day in the shower,
It was a long wait,
To ejaculate,
It took him just under an hour.
A lonely young man from Dover,
Loved his pet mongrel called Rover
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Helmut Shown
1:00 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The site is now so much more fleeter,
Now Two Bob has been put in the meter.
So come one and all
Long short or tall
Pervert, mysogenist, wife beater
A Scotsman from near Prestonpans,
With sores on his corona glans
His doctor said “Jock
We’ll cut off your cock”
Now he identifies as trans
There was a young man from the Gower
Was wanking one day in the shower
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Mike Oxsaw
11:36 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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An old man who came from Headcorn
Would often sit down to watch porn
He had boxes of tissues,
To deal with the issues,
Which lasted from dusk until dawn.
The site is now so much more fleeter,
Now Two Bob has been put in the meter.
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arsene york-hunt
11:35 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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An old man who came from Headcorn
Would often sit down to watch porn,
At the screen he sat,
Catching drips in his hat,
And singing The Mountains of Morne.
A Scotsman from near Prestonpans,
With sores on his corona glans.
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Helmut Shown
8:51 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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His silent fart certainly stank,
When stood in the queue at the bank.
But with true British phlegm
No one would condemn
The smell of an open septic tank
An old man who came from Headcorn
Would often sit down to watch porn
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arsene york-hunt
6:03 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A knock from the man from the Pru
He said "May I use your loo"
Thought he wanted a slash,
But did a pebble dash,
Which looked like a green lentil stew..
His silent fart certainly stank,
When stood in the queue at the bank.
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Helmut Shown
1:09 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So, now Putin is building platoons
From countries who're are decent with tunes.
He has it in hand
To form a brass band
So he can accompany on spoons
A knock from the man from the Pru
He said "May I use your loo"
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Mike Oxsaw
11:09 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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To the polling station I'd say
A big waste of a part of my day.
Just get there quite early
And lay down a curly
When voting just do it your way.
So, now Putin is building platoons
From countries who's people are...fill that bit in yourself....actually, don't...are decent with tunes.
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arsene york-hunt
10:11 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum,
Not once but twice,
And it was quite nice
While Miss Scarlett helped me to come.
To the polling station I'd say
A big waste of a part of my day..
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Helmut Shown
7:13 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist*
But your vote's a banker
For a public school wanker
Who bring politics down to the basest**
* Sic
** It rhymes with facist but not fascist
They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum
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Helmut Shown
7:10 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist*
But your vote's a banker
For a public school wanker
Who bring politics down to the basest**
* Sic
** It rhymes with facist but not fascist
They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum
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