les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
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Same as before
The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Helmut Shown
1:09 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So, now Putin is building platoons
From countries who're are decent with tunes.
He has it in hand
To form a brass band
So he can accompany on spoons
A knock from the man from the Pru
He said "May I use your loo"
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Mike Oxsaw
11:09 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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To the polling station I'd say
A big waste of a part of my day.
Just get there quite early
And lay down a curly
When voting just do it your way.
So, now Putin is building platoons
From countries who's people are...fill that bit in yourself....actually, don't...are decent with tunes.
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arsene york-hunt
10:11 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum,
Not once but twice,
And it was quite nice
While Miss Scarlett helped me to come.
To the polling station I'd say
A big waste of a part of my day..
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Helmut Shown
7:13 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist*
But your vote's a banker
For a public school wanker
Who bring politics down to the basest**
* Sic
** It rhymes with facist but not fascist
They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum
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Helmut Shown
7:10 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist*
But your vote's a banker
For a public school wanker
Who bring politics down to the basest**
* Sic
** It rhymes with facist but not fascist
They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum
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arsene york-hunt
6:20 Mon Jul 1
Re: New Limerick Thread
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For the Tories no celebration
For the crooks who've been robbing the nation,
And not much joy too
For those of us who
Must endure the next administration.
So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist
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Helmut Shown
8:05 Sun Jun 30
Re: New Limerick Thread
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When Starmer's ousted by Marxists,
The new Stazi will compile black lists
This sounds like a barrage
Delivered by Farage
Or one of his cabal of fascists
For the Tories no celebration
For the crooks who've been robbing the nation
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arsene york-hunt
10:17 Sat Jun 29
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The media just can't stand Farage
"Brexit?" they say, "Criminal charge!!!".
A media man
Hired a thesbian,
In a pub to be giving it large.
When Starmer's ousted by Marxists,
The new Stazi will compile black lists.
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Mike Oxsaw
9:17 Fri Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There once was a young chap called Gus
Got pissed, shit himself on a bus
Ne'er mind "Any more fares?"
It ran all down the stairs
The driver didn't half kick up a fuss.
The media just can't stand Farage
"Brexit?" they say, "Criminal charge!!!".
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arsene york-hunt
4:36 Mon Jun 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So. Manchester fucks up...again
'cos no one can get on a plane.,
North'ners going abroad,
Are angry and bored,
It's driving the poor dears insane.
There once was a young chap called Gus
Got pissed, shit himself on a bus
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Mike Oxsaw
8:21 Sun Jun 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was an old scrubber called Pearl
Used language to make your toes curl
But, if you pushed your luck,
Five bob for a fuck,
Plus blow-job to make your thoughts whirl.
So. Manchester fucks up...again
'cos no one can get on a plane.
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Helmut Shown
4:52 Sun Jun 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a German bloke called Herman
On the underground had a Sherman
They’d cut off his dick
If he pulled this trick
On a train in downtown Omdurman
There was an old scrubber called Pearl
Used language to make your toes curl
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arsene york-hunt
9:41 Sat Jun 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A few beers: my mind is a fog.
I need to lay off of this grog
My love life is iffy,
I can't get a stiffy,
And I keep rushing to the bog,
There was a German bloke called Herman
On the underground had a Sherman..
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Mike Oxsaw
4:02 Sat Jun 22
Re: New Limerick Thread
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It stunk,our performance today.
These foreign chaps, we can't outplay
The one thing that wrecks it,
Is quite simply Brexit.
Well, that's what the losers will say.
A few beers: my mind is a fog.
I need to lay off of this grog.
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arsene york-hunt
3:36 Fri Jun 21
Re: New Limerick Thread
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They say the earth's getting hot.
The sun, they say, has lost the plot.
We are going tto see.
A catastrophe
I'll be dead then, so fuck you lot.
It stunk,our performance today.
These foreign chaps, we cant outplay
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Mike Oxsaw
5:10 Thu Jun 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A young lady thought that perhaps
She’d get work done on her low hanging flaps.
A nip and a tuck,
And then a test fuck
To make sure there aren't any gaps.
They say the earth's getting hot.
The sun, they say, has lost the plot.
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Helmut Shown
4:59 Thu Jun 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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They've painted Stonehenge, the twats.
A bunch of entitled, sad prats
You know their types
Hooray Henry arsewipes
Not found in council flats
A young lady thought that perhaps
She’d get work done on her low hanging flaps
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Mike Oxsaw
7:54 Thu Jun 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a Russian tourist called Vlad
Got the clap off a rentboy in Chad
The bloke had no scruples
And paid him in roubles
As such, he's a bounder and cad.
They've painted Stonehenge, the twats.
A bunch of entitled, sad prats
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arsene york-hunt
12:37 Thu Jun 20
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A feisty girl from the Azores
Would walk around with no drawers,
It keeps cool her gash,
Saves time with a slash,
And helps to check vaginal sores.
There was a Russian tourist called Vlad
Got the clap off a rentboy in Chad
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Helmut Shown
11:17 Wed Jun 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
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It's said that our own Carlton Cole
Would fuck anything with a hole
When exhausting them he found
He'd turn them around
Impaling their bums on his pole
A feisty girl from the Azores
Would walk around with no drawers
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arsene york-hunt
4:21 Wed Jun 19
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young man called Cox
Beneath his bed were many wank socks,
A young man from Hants,
The same but with pants
But the Welsh use the fleece from their flocks.
It's said that our own Carlton Cole
Would fuck anything with a hole
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