les marteaux 7:44 Sat Aug 30
New Limerick Thread
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Same as before
The football we play to be blunt
Is to most West Ham fans an affront
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Mike Oxsaw
1:25 Sat Jul 6
Re: New Limerick Thread
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Our maths teacher Mr. Metcalf,
Blew off and made everyone laugh
Then, under the table,
He laid a big cable.
Seems these days you can't get the staff.
So the nation elected Kier Starmer.
I think I'd prefer a snake charmer.
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arsene york-hunt
12:14 Fri Jul 5
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A poor bloke got flukes in the liver
Through swimming in a polluted river,
On his hospital bed,
He came back from the dead
Fondling the tits of a caregiver.
Our maths teacher Mr. Metcalf,
Blew off and made everyone laugh
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Helmut Shown
10:11 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The cowboy sung "Home on the range",
But his actions were really quite strange
at the end of this saga
On the hotplate of the Aga
Caused him a rapid key change
A poor bloke got flukes in the liver
Through swimming in a polluted river
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Mike Oxsaw
6:48 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A lonely young man from Dover,
Loved his pet mongrel called Rover.
But the love turned to hate,
'cos the dog found a mate
As such, canine love was all over.
The cowboy sung "Home on the range",
But his actions were really quite strange
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arsene york-hunt
2:36 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was a young man from the Gower
Was wanking one day in the shower,
It was a long wait,
To ejaculate,
It took him just under an hour.
A lonely young man from Dover,
Loved his pet mongrel called Rover
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Helmut Shown
1:00 Thu Jul 4
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The site is now so much more fleeter,
Now Two Bob has been put in the meter.
So come one and all
Long short or tall
Pervert, mysogenist, wife beater
A Scotsman from near Prestonpans,
With sores on his corona glans
His doctor said “Jock
We’ll cut off your cock”
Now he identifies as trans
There was a young man from the Gower
Was wanking one day in the shower
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Mike Oxsaw
11:36 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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An old man who came from Headcorn
Would often sit down to watch porn
He had boxes of tissues,
To deal with the issues,
Which lasted from dusk until dawn.
The site is now so much more fleeter,
Now Two Bob has been put in the meter.
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arsene york-hunt
11:35 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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An old man who came from Headcorn
Would often sit down to watch porn,
At the screen he sat,
Catching drips in his hat,
And singing The Mountains of Morne.
A Scotsman from near Prestonpans,
With sores on his corona glans.
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Helmut Shown
8:51 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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His silent fart certainly stank,
When stood in the queue at the bank.
But with true British phlegm
No one would condemn
The smell of an open septic tank
An old man who came from Headcorn
Would often sit down to watch porn
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arsene york-hunt
6:03 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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A knock from the man from the Pru
He said "May I use your loo"
Thought he wanted a slash,
But did a pebble dash,
Which looked like a green lentil stew..
His silent fart certainly stank,
When stood in the queue at the bank.
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Helmut Shown
1:09 Wed Jul 3
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So, now Putin is building platoons
From countries who're are decent with tunes.
He has it in hand
To form a brass band
So he can accompany on spoons
A knock from the man from the Pru
He said "May I use your loo"
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Mike Oxsaw
11:09 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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To the polling station I'd say
A big waste of a part of my day.
Just get there quite early
And lay down a curly
When voting just do it your way.
So, now Putin is building platoons
From countries who's people are...fill that bit in yourself....actually, don't...are decent with tunes.
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arsene york-hunt
10:11 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum,
Not once but twice,
And it was quite nice
While Miss Scarlett helped me to come.
To the polling station I'd say
A big waste of a part of my day..
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Helmut Shown
7:13 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist*
But your vote's a banker
For a public school wanker
Who bring politics down to the basest**
* Sic
** It rhymes with facist but not fascist
They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum
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Helmut Shown
7:10 Tue Jul 2
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist*
But your vote's a banker
For a public school wanker
Who bring politics down to the basest**
* Sic
** It rhymes with facist but not fascist
They said it was Professor Plum
That rammed the lead pipe up my bum
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arsene york-hunt
6:20 Mon Jul 1
Re: New Limerick Thread
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For the Tories no celebration
For the crooks who've been robbing the nation,
And not much joy too
For those of us who
Must endure the next administration.
So Helmut's now a looney leftist
Right of Corbyn? Then you're a facist
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Helmut Shown
8:05 Sun Jun 30
Re: New Limerick Thread
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When Starmer's ousted by Marxists,
The new Stazi will compile black lists
This sounds like a barrage
Delivered by Farage
Or one of his cabal of fascists
For the Tories no celebration
For the crooks who've been robbing the nation
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arsene york-hunt
10:17 Sat Jun 29
Re: New Limerick Thread
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The media just can't stand Farage
"Brexit?" they say, "Criminal charge!!!".
A media man
Hired a thesbian,
In a pub to be giving it large.
When Starmer's ousted by Marxists,
The new Stazi will compile black lists.
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Mike Oxsaw
9:17 Fri Jun 28
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There once was a young chap called Gus
Got pissed, shit himself on a bus
Ne'er mind "Any more fares?"
It ran all down the stairs
The driver didn't half kick up a fuss.
The media just can't stand Farage
"Brexit?" they say, "Criminal charge!!!".
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arsene york-hunt
4:36 Mon Jun 24
Re: New Limerick Thread
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So. Manchester fucks up...again
'cos no one can get on a plane.,
North'ners going abroad,
Are angry and bored,
It's driving the poor dears insane.
There once was a young chap called Gus
Got pissed, shit himself on a bus
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Mike Oxsaw
8:21 Sun Jun 23
Re: New Limerick Thread
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There was an old scrubber called Pearl
Used language to make your toes curl
But, if you pushed your luck,
Five bob for a fuck,
Plus blow-job to make your thoughts whirl.
So. Manchester fucks up...again
'cos no one can get on a plane.
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