WHO Poll
Q: 2023/24 Hopes & aspirations for this season
a. As Champions of Europe there's no reason we shouldn't be pushing for a top 7 spot & a run in the Cups
b. Last season was a trophy winning one and there's only one way to go after that, I expect a dull mid table bore fest of a season
c. Buy some f***ing players or we're in a battle to stay up & that's as good as it gets
d. Moyes out
e. New season you say, woohoo time to get the new kit and wear it it to the pub for all the big games, the wags down there call me Mr West Ham

Send charleyfarley a WHOmail

REALNAME -- Mr Charles Marley Farley

BORN - Bali

HEROES - Bobby Moore, Winston Churchill,Tony Blair,Martin Luther King, Piggy Malone, Nelson Mandela and Lech Walesa
PLACE - East Ham.

WHO FUND http://www.westhamonline.net/forum_flat.php?9430595%7C%7C1%7C%7C

, 11:42 Wed Aug 30

Re: Sakho gone
It might turn out that Bilic asked Sakho where he would like to play and he replied... In France

NICEY 5:39 Sun Apr 19
Boat Ownership
Does anyone own a boat?

Ive got a real hankering for one and havent even begun to look into it so there is always a WHO subject matter expert around.

Couple of points, would want to use it at sea, moor it permanently in the harbour here and not cost me a fortune. Also no sailing experience.

WHU(Exeter) 6:27 Sun Apr 19
Re: Boat Ownership
Have a bit of a practice first, maybe sit in the bath and listen to the fishing forecasts and stuff.

The printer thread



JONAH LOMAS 5:36 Tue Nov 13
Re: A new deal for Reid
Great news.
How good would it be to have him, Tomkins and say Potts and Spence as our back 4 when we run out at the Olympic Stadium?

MONK~KOKNEE 5:47 Tue Nov 13
Re: A new deal for Reid
They wont run out at the Olympic Stadium. There will be a shuttle bus.


THANKS TED 11:07 Sun Mar 6
WHO Mods
The moderating on this site has become a fucking joke.
Threads disappearing, posters getting banned for posting material that some mods are getting away with every day.
WHO you should be ashamed, youve let yourself down.

Re: WHO Mods
Thanks Ted 11:07 Sun Mar 6
And get the WHOmail sorted while youre about it.

TOM MY 11:11 Sun Mar 6
Re: WHO Mods
What are the mods doing about Libya?
I will tell you:absolutely fucking nothing.

JOHNSON 11:12 Sun Mar 6
Re: WHO Mods
If youre going to have a whine at least give some examples...

TOM MY 11:13 Sun Mar 6
Re: WHO Mods
Benghazi, Tripoli, Ras lanuf..........


SurfaceAgentX2Zero 12:04 Thu Apr 25

WHU - The economy
Just seen Ed Balls discussing the latest GDP figures.

He sounds like Nicey the day after a 2-0 West Ham away win.
Sven Roeder 12:27 Sun Nov 8
Re: West Ham v Everton - Official Match Thread 1-1 FT
Just saw the Payet tackle for the first time since seeing it live.
Worse than I thought at the time. Reckless and dangerous and a red all day long.
Hope McCarthy gets his comeuppance in the Euro playoffs by breaking his neck scoring the own goal that eliminates ROI before being eaten by a pack of rabid Bosnian dogs while getting on the team coach. Which then reverses over his remains.


BRUUUNO 2:30 Sun Jul 17

Re: Eidur Gudjohnsen deal pulled by BFS

good work you hippo headed fat northern slag



PERONI 12:44 Sun Sep 25

Re: Fat Sam really does serve up dogshit football
The difference before was that we were accidentally shit.
This time round its deliberate


PANCHO 9:45 Fri Jul 13
Re: Which WHOer would you take to lunch?


She is a fucking nightmare! Trust me...

Do you have any bavarian wild mushrooms? Or how about the slowly baked intestines of a lesbian fair trade cow?

She fucking make a holy show of me in my local Little Chef.



BIGDINGUS 12:19 Thu Sep 13
Re: What is it that defines a West Ham fan?

The ability to see poetry in the skills of Carlton Cole

LEROYSBOOTS 3:09 Fri Sep 17

Good Article About Football Losing Its Soul

The theme of this article was the boycott by
thousands of Borussia Dortmund supporters
who were due to watch their team take on Schalke in the Bundesliga.1,500 Dortmund fans had already returned their tickets.


The following is a C&P from www.BorussiaDortmundonline.net for today:-

Herr Krull 15:22 Fri Sep 17

Mein Seasonticket hast increasert by von 15%. ScheizeKopf! Ich muss nich attendund zie nachste games.

Know Ist Alle 15:25 Fri Sep 17

Fich off und supportiert ein alternateklub. Ihr ist ein fan plastiche von post Europe96 competition.

TipsVonNorway 15:34 Fri Sep 17

*Das Moderator deletiert die post fur ein breach of das Boredomrule *

BorussiaPassionFurLife 15:39 Fri Sep 17

Was ist ihr favourite kartoffelchips? Mein ist Paprika.

Kunt von Bolt 15:42 Fri Sep 17



AfM 12:22 Thu Sep 30

A second earth has been found
Astronomers using the keck telescope in Hawaii have located a planet just 20 lightyears from here which is a rocky planet only 3 times the mass of earth and probably with enough gravity to hold an atmosphere.

If water is present, and there is every reason to believe it is, we could be on the verge of discovering that life is very common indeed in this huge, beautiful universe we find ourselves in.

BREWER 12:50 Thu Sep 30

Theyre probably on their way here right now. Get tooled up.

PANCHO12:51 Thu Sep 30

Thats some quality late night comedy there Brewster

BREWER 1:05 Thu Sep 30

Youve obviously never been savaged by a rampant amoeba Pancho, no laughing matter.


Got demoted by email


someones got to fold the happy meal boxes, youre the best man for the job.

Youll be back on chips in no time.




Alex V 11:46 Mon Oct 19
The main reason we are in the bottom 3 is...
...the fixture list.

Talk all you like about injuries, the financials, formations, the management team, Nani and Duxbury. If we had played easier teams at home we would be higher in the table - simple as that.


BURNKOVAC 2:33 Fri Oct 15

Manors tirade at me yesterday I think:

Kovac reading through your posts is like flicking through the sproadic drawings of a retarded, water on the brain, flid.

They make no sense, are aggressive and just reak of overindulgence in protein and roids, you result of a split condom mong. You should have been a fucking abortion, sucked and scrapped out of that womb and thrown on the scrap heap with the others


Sex or West Ham- A Survey

id like to ask a question to the ladies but without you getting all pissy thinking im being smart.

i cant imagine any woman Ive been with going on a football website like this. what is it ?

youve prob been asked many times but Im genuinly intrestesd.

Relax, Ned.

I will never think you are being smart.



Re: Welcome Sam

Allardyce, if appointed, would be one of the greatest sell-outs of the principles of a football club in English history.

Im off to mull over what Im going to do with my Saturday afternoons for the next few seasons.
You won;t find me paying to watch a West Ham team
managed and coached by a tactical dinousaur
who wears a headpiece that makes him look like
a paedophile backing singer at a boy band concert.


Zoltaneering is not synonymous with your standard, run of the mill boastfulness.

Isaac Hock has defined the technique to near universal acceptance. It is:

1. Take the fact that you want to impress WHO-ites with. For the sake of this example you can use the fact that you are being sent to Hong Kong on business in a few weeks. Remember, it matters little that you have not got a passport, it matters less that you havent got a job. Thats the beauty of Zoltaneering, and the reason that it remains the fastest growing passtime on WHO.

2. Think of a question. It should be a question which provides maximum flexibility in terms of combining other questions. For the purpose of this example, we can use a question relating to the purchase of a PSP.

3. Combine the fact you wish to tell everyone about (part 1) with the mundane question (part 2) MAKING PART 2 THE FOCUS OF THE STATEMENT.

Correct:- Will I be able to buy a PSP when Im in Hong Kong next week?

Incorrect:- Im going to Hong Kong on business. Will I be able to buy a PSP whilst there?

Again, I am quite prepared to offer this thread as a Zoltaneering school, offer up your examples and I will attempt to help you along. So long as while I am typing I dont have one of my many page 3 girlfriends attempting to suck me off, of course.

Then there is reverse Zoltaneering

The phenomenon of reverse Zoltaneering occurs when the opposite intention of a Zoltanesque comment occurs, often with toe-curlingly embarrassing consequences. The majority of cases of reverse Zoltaneering will involve a naive comment, made to impress, which reveals information about the commentator for which they will be ridiculed and/or pitied.

Consider the attempted Zoltan:- Does anyone know if Claridges is open on Sunday as I am taking my new bird Dana International out for some grub.

The intention of the comment is to reveal that the commenter has a glamorous lifestyle and a famous girlfriend. The actual effect is to reveal that his new girlfriend has a cock.



fivestar - Why do you have such a cuntish user name?

FIVESTAR 7:23 Tue Sep 14
Because somebody had already taken Bleeding Claret


DITCHER 6:20 Fri Oct 16

Re: Where is Know it all?
On the phone to Oxford Publishing asking them to add his name to the definition of the word pedantic?
Adding up the total of all the points he has won in arguments on this board by focussing on an unimportant detail whilst missing the overall point?


The definition of deluded or stupid?

Saturday Oct 17th, we have not won at home, played 8 games and got 5 points and have only scored 9 goals and lie 2nd from bottom


We play the best football, apart from Arsenal, in the league.



TED FENTON 11:51 Thu Jan 14
Re: Would you ever have an affair? / Have been cheated on?
I have been with my wife for 31 years,and no I havent cheated,but came close in the last 12 months.

I did have a wonderful life with different women
149 in fact, before I got married.

Too many people dont live a bit before settling down.

When people questioned how Ted arrived at the exact figure of 149 lovers, he explained he kept a book.


1:52 Fri Feb 26
Re: WHO spats and meets over the years, whats happened?

TOE RAG 1:48 Fri Feb 26

It was bring a REPLACEMENT head.

Another was bring some mates along if you like, to level it up. Also they can try and glue you back together again when Im finished

I will insert you into a wall

fucking genius.


Northern Sold claim to fame


CHIM CHIM CHA BOO 8:35 Fri Nov 5

Re: Is it me are are we just having more atrocious luck yet again?

If it is any consolation I went to Chelseas Champions league fixture on Wednesday night and fuck me the place was like a morgue. A pal of mine got given two full-on hospitality tickets with free booze and food. Loads of empty seats everywhere.

It is the first time I ve ever had those kind of tickets and it was fucking weird to be sitting at Stamford bridge in a completely non-segregated VIP area where there are as many Russians and neutrals (I am not neutral when it comes to those bluenose cunts, I know exactly where I stand) as well-heeled Chelsea nuts

It was only the Russians making any sort of noise (including completely taking the piss outside Fulham Broadway station- the old bill could barely contain them) and the first time I realised the blue section of the crowd were actually alive was during the second half.

That is what you get when you support a robot-football team who never seem to lose while simultaneously never look fired-up either. Add in the fact that the Champions league group stages are a formality and the crowd wont get going until Barcelona give them their annual humiliation and you ve got a shit team with shit fans- same old Chelsea.

My Chelsea supporting mate Paul said (as they scored their fourth goal) could you come to football and watch from the VIP stand every week? I said mate, to tell you the utter, utter truth I d much rather be in that away stand with the Russians on the end of a shoeing than sit with these cunts again.

You can be sure there is a Chelsea internet forum where they are paraphrasing your opening post tonight- are we cursed? Lampard is still out and we ve got that fucking headless chicken Malouda spraying balls all over the stand, shit turn-out for a Champions league match, its not the Chelsea I grew up supporting, I cant identify with any of the millionaire players, I cant afford to go etc.

Keep your knickers on, you support West Ham which places you right at the top of the loyal supporter league for a start, things will either turn around or they wont- we will keep plodding up and down the country, whether its at Old Trafford or Wimbledon AFC, and we will out-sing the lot of them, take the piss and all the other stuff that makes us happy Hammers.

I think our train leave Euston at about ten, and I cannot fucking wait..



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