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doomhunk
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If you are what you eat, what was Bobby Sands?



My story is not too dissimilar to some of the ones you've read here. Boy meets girl, they hit it off etc. Age old story.

She is my insurance broker. I knew there was something special about her the minute she came into my office, and when she told me she had forgotten some important documentation and would have to come back the next day, I knew this was the beginnning of something interesting. It wouldn't be too much of a problem, would it? She caught my glance and the wedding rings, hers and mine, shining brightly on our fingers. Our eyes met and I told her it was no problem, no problem at all. We both knew where this was going.

The next week we met at a small country pub, under the guise of her needing a further signature to complete the paperwork. Well, the sun and the wine did its work, and soon we were cuddling up closer. When she rested her hand on my thigh, the electricity was unbelievable - like nothing else I have ever experienced in my whole life. One thing lead to another, and when she asked when my wife would be returning from her business trip to Chicago, I knew what she had in mind. She knew full well my wife was away for a month - that was why I alone had signed all the papers.

To cut a long story short, we ended up back at my flat. We had amazing sex. She was demanding and experienced and I was proud of the way in which I acquitted myself. i could feel myself falling for her.

But now the month is almost up and my wife will be home tomorrow, and this is where the problem lies.

Last night, we decided to meet for one last liason. She came around and I kicked her back doors in good and proper, and in the process smashed my marital bed to pieces.

Can anyone recommend a good, quick-drying glue that will leave no traces or odour?

Thanks.

and as an aside:

To glorify oneself in speech; talk in a self-admiring way.
To speak of with excessive pride.
To contain; have.
The act or an instance of bragging. A source of pride.
"does anyone know how many £50 notes you can get in a Gucci wallet?"
"does any else find Premier class airline food to be ill balanced to the wines selected?"
See - http://www.westhamonline.net/forum_flat.php?434531||1||
There is no universal, standard definition of the word Zoltaneering. It is mostly due to the evolution of the English language as an amalgamation of words from many other languages. "Zoltan" and "eering" came into English from the website www.westhamonline.net (also "neo-zoltaneering," "post-zoltaneering," etc.) are native English and Scottish words. Westhamonline.net - also known as 'WHO' by it's regular users. Lord Zoltan (Profile Number: 21713) gained notoriety for supposedly boasting/bragging about his private life, social activities and hysterical escapades. He is known to be a keen DJ, Basketball player, Olympic standard runner, actor (guest appearance in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, 2005) who apparently lives in Ilford, Essex, UK. He is said to have recently become involved intimately with a young lady/model from Peru. His over zealous technique of 'Zoltaneering' when explaining his relationship and search for someone who would 'Flugel' (engage in bizare sex games) to other members of the WHO community is thought to have led to the phrase being created. The origins of the word are however rather vague. It is thought that fellow WHO user 'IssacHock'(WHO Member: 16411) could be behind it's creation. Please visit www.westhamonline.net for more info.
Other known terms -
Zoltoplex - a number so great, even infinity bows down before it.
Zoltanite - a constituent part of a Zoltaneering process.
The Zolt - an SI unit representing the difference between the mundane and boastful elements in an attempt at Zoltaneering. The higher the Zolt, the more impressive the attempt
Full Zoltaneered - the state where no greater Zolt number can be generated by the two elements in the attempt.
Unzoltaneerable - any two Zoltanites which, when included in a Zoltaneering attempt result in a Zolt number of zero.
Zoltbaiting - To mock Lord Zoltan
Zwerving - To Zoltaneer, then to avoid being mocked for your attempt.
Zoltition - To attempt to talk your way out of Zoltaneering.
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoltaneerin"
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