"I was listening to a radio 4 segment on Bingo in the UK.. One of the organisers of a modern Bingo hall, said we are targeting a younger audience (a fancy way of saying dumbed down), and we don't say 2 fat ladies any more; we say two positive body women. Fuck me even Bingo's gone woke."

"Capitol Man 2:48 Sun Jan 2 Do you not find a sad ageing man posting repeatedly on a football website disgustingly sexist references to menstruation, and comparing those with whom he disagrees with as women, because they have different views, a little embarrassing then"

"I saw the firework display, which was followed by some bloke singing crap and dressed as a woman. He was an ugly fucker with a pudding basin haircut. I thought that if this is the sort of cսnt who is valued in society, I have probably been alive too long."

"Donald Trump wanted to have some play But with him was just Theresa May She took off her knickers He took out a snickers And inserted it in a rough way. Next up we've got the scouse Their support, to a man, is a louse."

How do you know when Mum's having a period? Dad's cock tastes different.

"I'm off to the pub for a drink I need some down-time, just to think It's my partner you see, Keeps picking at me. She thinks that her shit doesn't stink. It's said that the jewish in Crete Make love through a hole in a sheet"

"1st Man in gym:""How long have you been wearing that corset."" 2nd Man: ""Ever since me wife found it in the back of the car."""

"To give up tobacco and vape. The patches or a self-help tape? To give up baccy Is easy, you'll see, But wanking is hard to escape. My woman last night seemed quite bitter, When I asked to try it up her shitter."

"There once was a vicar from Bude, Got into a terrible mood, He was fit to bust As he effed and he cussed, His manner ungodly and crude. There once was a man from Gosham, Who took out his b*llocks to wash ’em,"

"The wind, it has died down at last The litter was swirling so fast, The streets are a mess And I must confess I looked upon the scene aghast. Next up we are playing the scouse Each fan to a man is a louse."

"There was a young man called Antonio Some journos said that he wants to go, But was in the act, Of signing a contact Those papers print bollocks, you know. There was an old lady from Fife Who shaved off her pubes with a knife"

"So legalise drugs, some might say To keep nasty dealers away, Prisons are replete With users off the street, Be better to gas them I'd say. There once was a chav from Kent Who was thick and scruffy and bent.."

"A Spurs fan in his Mimi Moke Procured an old brass for a poke Her reply was not nice When he haggled the price ""Fuck off"" were the words that she spoke. Dr Who took her in the P'lice box. And she gave him a dose of the pox."

"The vicar was writing a letter On how to make choir-boys sing better, Aggressive and stern, The poor kids did not learn And some of the pants became wetter. A suicide bomber called Ali, Once targeted Alley Pally"

"A well known London designer Went out wearing purple eye liner, A TV producer Who tried to seduce ""her"" Found a cock and not a vagina. A young man who came from Southall Worked as a human cannon ball."

"A maiden, not long turned sixteen, Decided to play ""flick-a-bean"" While fing'ring her chasm, Had her first orgasm, Using a damp tea-cloth to clean I once met a girl in Verona, Who turned out a right little moaner"

"A maiden, not long turned sixteen, Decided to play ""flick-a-bean"" While fing'ring her chasm, Had her first orgasm, Using a damp tea-cloth to clean I once met a girl in Verona, Who turned out a right little moaner"

"A maiden, not long turned sixteen, Decided to play ""flick-a-bean"" While fing'ring her chasm, Had her first orgasm, Using a damp tea-cloth to clean I once met a girl in Verona, Who turned out a right little moaner"

"He's avoided relegation once more And Cupped his ears to the haters galore, He fails to excite, And some say it;s shite, But the only thing counting's the score. When she took her skimpy thong down, The string bit had turned a dark brown"

"I'm not a great fan of Hip-Hop It's something I wouldn't call pop Monotonous words Non tunes, ""sung"" by turds, Oh how I wish it would just stop. It's said presenter Bamber Gascoigne, Picked up girls in the Bois de Boulogne"

"With 55,000 on the waiting list Make sure your ticket is not missed. With so many around We will fill our ground Small club? you must be fucking pissed. A young boy from Azerbaijan. Was bum-fucked by the local Imam"

"He got off a train at the Bank Then stood at the taxi rank, No luck on the ramp As he looked like a tramp, In fact from a distance he stank. On your typical politics thread, Nothing of value's ever said"

"Leicester I'm sure will attack Down the right against our left back, But fuck the football, Of which I know fuck all Let's have rhymes about tits, bums and crack. An Etonian once asked his chum If he'd bend while he shafted his bum."

"A young man who came from Kolkata Went for a night on the batter But was drunk for a week Then buggered a Sikh, Realising he was a brown hatter. A bloke posts each day on this site Saying West Ham's owners are shite"

"Poseurs on high powered bikes I'd have them impaled on spikes, But these fucking whores Driving huge four by fours, Is one of my biggest dislikes. There once were two dirty old vicars, Went around stealing women's knickers."