Welcome Mateus, son.

If they were playing at a decent venue, Hammersmith Apollo or Cliffs Pavillion for £80 I might be tempted. 
Hundreds of pounds to stand/sit in a football stadium with awful sound, miles away from the stage watching the big screens? Nah. 

Welcome Hadji, son.

A geezer walks into an East End pub and says to the barman,“Can I have a pint of lager? And tell me—where are all the fucking Arabs? I hate fucking Arabs. I’ll fight them in the nude.” The barman gives him his pint and says,“There’s no fucking Arabs around here, mate. You need to join the French For...

I will be sporting the Bono indoor selection, yes. 

Noticed a shadow on the bottom right of my left eye a couple of weeks ago. It steadily got bigger so toodled off to the opticians yesterday only to be told to attend the hospital asap where I spent nearly all day having tests etc then travelled to Moorfields this morning at 7am to have surgery at 11...

20 minutes at 180, perfect every time.

Yeah, Brexit is proving to be a great decision, the benefits are rolling in, it's like Dover on a windless day.....

Fastest growing economy in the G7, seems Rachel from accounts isn't just a pair of tits after all.....

Two great fee kicks, I look forward to him hanging on to his ability when we re-sign him in 2033 when his legs have gone and he needs to top up his pension.

I'd prefer Grealish to Rashford, at least the Brummie draws a foul, Rashord just passes it to the opposition...

Rashford was dogshit, everything he tried ended up giving away possession, fuck knows what will happen when he comes up against seasoned Champions League players once we get into the finals, there must be better options than him.

Chris Stapleton - What Are You Listening To?

I'm fairly ambivalent these days about England games but fuck me, there are some dogshit selections in that squad. There will be certain young England footballers on their respective training grounds around Europe today thinking 'what the fuck do I have to do make the squad', Gibbs-White, Wan-Bissak...

What was with the Soucek muted celebration last night, it's not like he's played for opposition? 

Also, watching from the comfort of my living room, did I hear a few boos when Mavropanos came on? 

Typical Moyes, 2 up, 10 men behind the ball, concede 2 and then hang on for the point. Don’t miss the cսnt at all.

Met him in Ye Old Dragon pub in Shenfield many moons ago on Sunday night doing a quiz, couldn't believe how posh he spoke. Nice enough bloke though. 

Best singing for years, cracking player.

C&P Guardian Hammers hampered by recruitment West Ham’s recruitment has ruined their season. They lack energy in midfield, suitable cover for injured players in attack and now have a crisis in central defence. Tim Steidten, the club’s under-fire technical director, can hardly complain that rumou...

Cough, leave your balls out of this. 

Ancona circa 2001 after a white knuckle drive in my Ford Sierra XR4x4 from Como trying to catch the ferry to Patra, made it and shat as soon as I boarded.

Trump : "Yeah that's her with the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful... I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything....

Bought a Samsung 43'' many moons ago from Richer sounds in Romford, after a few years I upgraded to a bigger screen and gave the Samsung to friends who lived in Brum. After a few months the screen went wonky, I checked my guarantee and it was 5 years 10 months old (2 months left to run), they took i...

Shop assistants/barmen who call me ‘mate’

Airport parking prices

People born in London who support Liverpool and Man Utd. 

Does he mention our fans wanting the team to play 'the West Ham way'? If not, I'm not interested.....