I read a book once.

Arsene yorK-hUNT

"It seems that the board have their way As in the PL we now stay, No ambition it seems, An end to our dreams, Until the cunts all go away. A wise man from far off Cathay, Would masturbate five times a day"

"Sorry, ignore that. That cat business has been all forgot Now its the news of the Blues that is hot, Their status reduction A big points deduction? Plastic cunts will be all tears and snot. ""I liked Stamford Bridge"" He once said,, ""Watching our boys taking the shed."""

"That cat business has been all forgot Now its the news of the Blues that is hot, Their status reduction A big points deduction? Who'll they now support, lot? Plastic cunts will be all tears and snot. ""I liked Stamford Bridge"" He once said,, ""Watching our boys taking the shed."""

"My bucket list said that I will Get a haircut when in Seville. The bloke, an old scrotum, Sang Largo al Factotum, So loud it was making me ill. My next door neighbour's a shite Playing rock ""music"" late in the night"

"Eskimo Nell had a slash And an icicle formed on her gash, And, so they say, She broke it away And used it to stir Cadbury's Smash A priest from the mountains of Morne, Near the choir always had the horn"

"Donald Trump tried something new He sent a Tweet that was true He said: ""I'll be blunt- I know I'm acunt- But I'm here for the girls i can screw."" Yet another tottenham rhyme, You know we're obsessed with this slime."

"The Tottenham squad I'm guessin' Are shell shocked since their Messi lesson. More games like this please, As I feel an unease Til the cunts are out. I'm confessin'. The Manure fans are sick to a man, After losing to poxy West Ham."

"The bloke with the GTech vac Tried to use it to clean out his crack, He felt very cool, Misusing this tool But 'twas blocked sucking in his nutsack. At tottenham fan Abraham In secret tried a piece of ham"

"Sad, sad thread. sooo,soooo sad."

"In a lido a girl on all fours Was looking to find her lost drawers A man stared unblinking, At her pudendum winking Got a stiffy and hurried indoors. In a brothel in Old Kent Road, They enforced a strict dress code"

"A lesbian awoke with a fright She'd left her butt plug in overnight, As she removed it, It caused her to fit And was covered all over with shite. A man who sneezed while on a bus Was covered with snot, and with pus"

"Whenever a big team comes to town The referee lets us down Now Manure were shite, But the ref got it right, And José's acting like a clown. I'm told dutch athlete Dafne Schippers, Her vagine smells like old kippers"

"At half time I went for a piss, So none of the goals I would miss, But while in the bog I had to drop a log, As it slid out, I felt pure bliss. A goat herd from old Madras Gave it to one up the arse."

"Deli Alli falls to the ground Penalty! They're in the nex He just makes me sick He's an odious prick, Of shit, he's a festering mound. Robin Hood was down on his luck, When he met with old Friar Tuck"

"A star in the heavens above, Was seen by a couple in love, by the star they were struck And he said ""Lets fuck"", So she gave the fucker a shove. The village blacksmith called Pat Beneath the Chestnut tree was sat."

"There was a young man from Southgate Who thought anal rimming was great, Then his bum chum Art. Dropped in his face a fart, Which caused him to be quite irate. A transgender ""woman"" Toulouse, Went once into the ladies loos"

"It was too long and much too thick As she gagged on it, it made her sick ""This Magnum lolly, Makes me far from jolly I wish I had bought a crab stick."" There was a young man from Dunkirk, Whose trousers fell down while at work."

"A knight sat upon a tall steed Was fair overcome with a need, Could not get to the ground, As his squire weren't around So there in his armour he peed. A new young prostitute from Guinea, Was dark, had nice tits, and was skinny"

"There was a young girl from Braintree Who'd let you make love for a fee, This filthy young whore, Would charge but a score, And then suckyour willy for free. From the Royal enclosure a toff, Was ejected when caught wanking off."

"The fans at our coming home game Will hope it's not more of the same. First ten minutes, intense, Then our hapless defence, Will be looking for others to blame. With WHO I am growing wearier. Of all of this rampant hysteria"

"On Saturday when I get on the train I'll find that they're fucked up again I loudly protested, Then got arrested For shouting abuse quite profane. A young man from round Surrey docks Picked up a bad dose of the pox."

Back in the cool 80s and 90s I did it with umpteen proper munters One of them called Pat Had a foul smelling prat And her guts looked like Billy Bunter's There was a young man from Fife Caught shagging his best mates wife

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