Whilst there were always a few threads which straddled football/ non-football, I thought that the two forum approach (or at least splitting between football and non-football) always had benefits. Meant we could bicker, do acronyms/ other social stuff as a respite from West Ham without attracting (al...

I'm back

"This thread’s worth a compliment Cos’ there’s never an argument Well, I've been away Without much to say Things go smoothly when I'm absent! Like a bad penny I've come back Still in search of some decent craic"

"A Russian from Vladivostock Got bitten by a gnat on his cock Never mind, all was well As he started to swell Tool big enough for none to mock I've just discovered WHO's new site But will it still be just as shite?"

Will academy youth get a game? Each week the first team is the same. Whilst Moyes says he knows best For us fans it's a test Post-match excuses ever more lame Can't we show Infantino the door? I mean Saudi Twenty Thirty-Four!

Will academy youth get a game? Each week the first team is the same. Whilst Moyes says he knows best For us fans it's a test Post-match excuses ever more lame Can't we show Infantino the door? I mean Saudi Twenty Thirty-Four!

"I've got a mate whose grandfather was Man U's longest serving scout. Reckoned Ravel Morrison was the greatest raw talent he'd ever seen (but no, not the guy blowing his own trumpet as his turf didn't include Ravel's ""hood"") He also commented that he had one of the worst attitudes he'd ever seen. ...

There was a young man from Leek A bit of a computer geek But try as he might Hacked a dating site No luck with that shag he did seek The missus forever sings the same song No matter what I do I'm always wrong

The refereeing standard's the same They should hang their heads in shame They hate us it would seem Only like a big team Really putting me off of the game I'm trying to go with the flow But this site is so effing slow

"I should have been watching Stiff Little Fingers live. Right at this minute. But yesterday morning, the bastards cancelled this evening's show"

"In 2007 West Ham issued ""The Great Escape"" Just wondering whether 2020 will see ""The Pathetic Relegation"" released"

The Beauty of Pollution - by CCCC & Nocturnal Emissions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRdbsPbC-y0

Some Velvet Morning - version by Rowland S Howard & Lydia Lunch (Rowland passed away ten years ago today)

"A German guy approaches a prostitute and says, ""I vish to buy sex vit you."" ""OK"" says the girl, ""I'll charge £20 an hour."" ""Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."" ""No problem,"" she replies cautiously, ""I can do a little kinky."" So off they go to the girl's flat, where the...

"About to put the Cockney Rejects on. Looks like I might be taking them for ""yum cha"" tomorrow"

"I just heard that Shanghai were insisting on 25 million for Arnie, whilst West Ham were trying to hold out for 20 million for Arnie + Hugill"

"An orchestra conductor called Hugh, Tried a quiet fart, but followed through, His arse-music loud A vile smelling cloud And his trousers all stained with poo Just as I thought I'd pull some nice gash My stomach bubbled - I had to dash"

"Given the day today, for the first time in years I'm listening to EOSTRE by zoviet-france"

"There was a young man from the sticks, Made a living sucking blokes dicks. He felt quite the jerk Couldn't find straight work So to make ends meet performed tricks A Doctor inspected a whore Whose rectum was getting quite sore"

"There was a young man from Bangkok, Was wiping his knob with a sock He'd just done a bird Up the hole of turd Without a dunkie on his cock I really am flabbergasted Carroll's fitness has not lasted"

There was a young lady from Brum Her party trick - flashing her bum Not much of a looker Unsuccessful hooker She didn't like the taste of cum The Citeh boys are arriving Will we get another hiding?

Mrs FEH droning on and on about something or other

There was a young man from Playa Blanca Who made his living as a banker Making his money In manners funny No surprise he was a right wanker Donald Trump tried something new He sent a Tweet that was true

SPK - Information Overload Unit Ideal for drowning out background noise

"""Get up early"" they said But me, I'd rather lie in bed There's no Doris to do Last night I had a few So I've got a fucking sore head I think I've perfected an art Parroting tunes by means of fart"