Hey Billy, It is such a joy to see the advent calendar back. It never fails to bring a bit of warmth into what can often be a somewhat trying time. Also by choosing In Dulci Jubilo you have reminded us that the recorder doesn't always have to sound like it is straight out the bowels of hell itself. ...

A man was admitted to the hospital with 25 plastic horses inserted into his rectum. His condition is described as stable.

I went to the hospital with a taxidermist friend.
The doctor asked me "Who's that?"
"A taxidermist," I replied.
The doctor nodded gravely and said "it's good to be prepared."

I told my wife that our neighbour had died.
She said "Who, Ray?"
"Celebrating seems a little callous", I replied.

Given the business we have already done if we can add Todibo and AWB to that I think a little bit of wee may come out.

A glass or two of wine with dinner most nights. If I go out I am usually driving so I have found that I principally drink the zero alcohol beers. They used to be absolutely appalling but there are a few that taste Ok on the market now.

"Frankie goes to Hollywood - Welcome to the pleasure dome. Happy Mondays - Pill's Thrills and Bellyaches The Smiths - The Queen is Dead The Pixies - Dolittle Warren Zevon - Warren Zevon Bruce Sprinsteen - The Wild the innocent and the E-street shuffle The Decemberists - The Crane Wife Fleetwood Mac ...

I absolutely loved Oppenheimer. I didn't find it dull at all.

"A friend of mine always used to tell me that the first rule of the theatre was to always leave them wanting more. Lovely bloke, terrible anesthetist."

"and eleven before that and eight, eighteen and all the eighties before that. So quite a few before forty when you think about it."

And fifteen in fact before that.

Surely Fifty alphabetically is before Forty.

Conte wants out of the lane Must want to fuck off to Spain I can't say I'm surprised that Levy's so despised along with that twat Harry Kane. What chance that we keep Declan Rice when Sulli says 100 mill would be nice

"There one was a young man named Paul, Who shagged a girl from Senegal While her fanny was huge with flaps bulbous and rouge and a stench that could truly appall David Icke's planned tour of down under unfortunately has been blown quite asunder"

In Morocco a new health farm hit. .Is cov'ring yourself with camel shit As learned from the Moors It's great for the pores Though in truth you'll smell quite a bit. The end of work for Twenty seventy For a break I am really quite keen

A Spaniard from sunny Tenerife As gay as they come loved his beef But he was clingy and cloying which was extremely annoying So his liaisons were all rather brief. I really do love Christmas Eve It matters not in what you believe

"A young girl from Potter Heigham, Wanted dildos and went out to buy 'em She's a diligent shopper but it's still quite improper to expect she'll be able to try'em. Santa Claus only comes in December an event he will fondly remember"

"In a brothel in Alice Spings, They used KY to lube the girl's rings but a quick dab of butter or slime from the gutter was more than enough for the minge If ever I return to Chennai I'm afraid that I surely will die"